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I've recently put together a recording studio and I'm having a lot of fun going in another direction. My full time job is in computers.

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I've been in the computer industry since I was x years old. I hate it. I want out. I'm putting a lot of time into going in a direction that I'm hoping will save me from wasting my entire life being forced to do something I care nothing about computers.

She is insanely jealous of this.

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Daily screaming matches about "how I'm cool again" now that people are coming by to record and I'm hanging out with a lot of musicians and creative people. She s the recording sessions "my parties" and yes, we have a great time recording but we're still producing something.

It's not like we're slamming drinks and passing out on the floor every night. She continually brings up past events. We'll start to fight, things will built and suddenly it's back to something I did x years ago. Nothing ever dies. History is compiled into an arsenal to be used against me when things flair up. I don't know what to do.

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I guess part of the problem is always feeling like maybe I should have tried harder to do this, or maybe I am too selfish. I used things like the fact that she gets to live in a penthouse apartment for free and that I buy her "things" all the time. I'm not materialistic by any means but I guess I at least expect objects to symbolize that I do think of her and I do want her to have the things she enjoys.

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She's xI'm x. She comes from a rough family. I feel like neglect and abuse in her hood has led her to a world filled with anger. I mean, man, she gets so pissed off I feel like if I were a normal person, I would have been out of this relationship x years ago.

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